Been a while since I'd seen the Lord Of Darkness.  Rumors had it the G had him on the run.  That definitely turned out to be misleading, as a mountain of evidence began to show they were actually benefitting from his methods and means.  It was even rumored his demons had began a campaign with his local henchmen to undue the rule of law, and make it all a big joke, funded, worshipped and indulged in, fully by the ignorant taxpayers.  It was hard to believe, but after cutie-pie lent a little birdy in my ear, I checked out the tip and spied his henchmen plotting their ways and means, and smootching with the media and other G's at the local Mexican joint.  Sad, but true, Satan was everywhere, and even the truth was beginning to fail.

So, after a year long investigation, the High Council dispatched me to let his evilness know that he wasn't fooling many, just a few, and basically to set the record straight. I hollered at him on the hotline, and we set a date to hook down at a club in Cartersville, a regional hotspot he and his henchmen had taken over and began to recruit the damned.  I cruised in on a Friday night, just as the house band was taking a break.  I immediately spied his thugs, pushing their shit and fucking things up, making sure any other lowlifes didn't step on their turf, cut them out of the loop so to speak.  Didn't take me long to find their master, there he was in a corner, shit eating grin on his face, ho-dawgs circling his table as he dished out the doom.

"Damn dog!  Where you been?" Satan yelled as he lept to his hooves, spread his wings and pawed the shoulders of two local chicas.

"Been around hoss, just decided to come down to your club here and see what the fuck kinda disaster you're making."

"Shit, since we set up the cat that owned this place, it's been ours for the milking.  We've got folks in here every night she's open, and man-o-man are we taking some souls!"

"Yeah.  I think everyone knows about that one.  But big man you know not everyone takes a piece of the whore and goes to hell ya know."

His grin disappeared and anger flickered in his evil eyes.  Though trying like hell, his ho's still handn't been able to crest the knave. Obviously, it was a sore spot.

"So, what the fuck do you want?" he growled. "I got motherfuckers here that want to worship, and your ass is cramping my style."

First I waved his ho's off, which they obliged none too eagerly.  After all, it was said the phallus of Satan was cold as an ice, and many of his women just couldn't stay away from that shit.

"The party is just about over Satan.  Got orders to lay down the law and expose your operations.  If you don't fuckin' chill, back to hell you're going and your ass is going to be locked up, for a long, long time."

His grin returned, larger than ever.

"Ha! Ha! Ha!  What the fuck are you gonna do?  I'm stronger than ever.  Who the fuck can stop me?  I've got my boys learning how to cook that shit and we're gonna flood and control the market!"

I said, "I believe the market is already flooded.  Just because lies, threats and force can't get you what you want, don't believe everyone is so gullible as to believe your henchmen are doing that in order to break shit down faster.  Some are on to your scheme."

"Ha! Ha! Ha!  Who? Washington?  I got their boy in my pocket!!  Plus, look at the lying and stealing going on up there.  Worse now than ever.  Surely no local lowlife is gonna be able to stop the Angel Of Death!"

At that I had to laugh. "Yeah, but just like in the Word, the man could rise again.  Not everyone is so god damned stupid as to believe your bullshit."

"Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.  Taking Dad's name in vain will send you to the wrong place brother!"

"It's not in vain if you're one that can do the damning."

The color drain from the evil one's face.  He sat his drink down (firewater, his favorite) looked around to make sure no one was in earshot, and growled;

"Ok, look asshole.  What exactly the fuck do you want? Time is short here, and you're fucking wasting mine."

"It's like this scratch......"

"Fuck you!  My name is not scratch.  It's Satan!  Lucifer to you motherfucker!"

"Whatever.  Look, the High Council has decided to grant you the archives, but you will produce or they will cut you off.  In order for this to happen, you'll have to give up some of your cronies."

"And?" spit the dark angel, obviously not caring if a few misguided souls made their way back from the grave.

"The Council meets in this town in a couple of months.  Your presence is requested.  I am sure they will tell you what they want.  Just be prepared.  It may not be so easy."

"Ha! Ha! Ha!  What the fuck IS every easy these days?  To hell with you and your council....."

"No brother.  You don't have that right.  Like I said, you'll get the archives, but everything else is being moved out into more appropriate surroundings.  And, like I said, you'll either produce, or you'll be canned."

He laughed his biggest and longest laugh so far....

"Of course it will produce! Who doesn't like tits and ass?!"

I smiled and turned to walk away.  I could see Cho and his band setting up for their final set.  As I got to the door, I turned and looked at his evilness.

He wasn't smiling anymore.

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